Here it is, another year has come and gone. Many times I have picked up some device to write something for that season of life, nothing but tears would come. I’ve been dealing with some intense emotion, mostly bitterness and anger. Living remote, in an interesting culture to say the least just added to my fire of simmering emotions.
Let’s just say, this year was one wave of a ride. One minute I am thinking maybe, just maybe I can take a breath and just be able to breathe. Somewhere, somehow through Christ alone I can have some peace. Everyday, felt like I was gripping the edge of roller coaster, hanging on with white knuckles, and one killer of a death grip.
Maybe you can relate my dear reader? Maybe you have been feeling like I have. I pray deep in my soul, if that is you, you find some peace through Christ alone. I pray you can find a support system who believes the word of God is truth, and who is well rounded enough to point you to Christ.
I look back at the last few months, and cry thinking about it. It was terrifying as a mother, as well as frightening. I won’t get into details on that, since my belief is my daughter is a minor, and her details remain private. Within a three week span, I literally could not breathe. I was so angry, I just couldn’t see straight. I was angry at God, our location, the lack of services (I had to fly 1,600 miles to get my daughter care), I was just angry.
You see, I have gotten a taste of what single mom life is like, and my hat goes off to you, seriously! It sucks! I’m not one to sugar coat these sort of things, so if you’re looking for that, I suggest finding a different blog. I’m over fakeness. I’m over pretending to be this perfect Christian with my ducks all in a row.
I think with everything that has happened, it has made me appreciate the calms moments, and joy of the Lord a little more. I’m not sure if that season was supoose to teach me something specific, if so, I pray my ears are open to listen. As are yours, for whatever season you are in.
My goal for 2020, is to seek more of Christ, and less of Rebecca. I’m not sure if I would consider it a goal, non the less, a great reminder, that He is greater than I am. I pray that you seek Christ as well this coming year